Close Connections: Kat Reynolds - they’e not just friends, they’re family

Kat says, “We were nervous because our lives were about to change, but it’s one of the best things we’ve ever done. They’re no longer guests but family.”

Kat’s kitchen became the perfect place to get to know one another. “It was Gabi’s birthday the day the family arrived, and we shared it, using Google Translate on our phones to chat.”

Kat cooked for everyone, giving the family time to settle. “We chatted later about a routine, and agreed to split the cooking duties between our families.”

On Daniel’s third birthday, Valya wanted to make a recipe from a baker friend back home, but she’d never baked a cake. “Valya, Katya, Gabi and I spent hours making the sponge. It was lighter than our usual recipe, and I loved learning a different technique.”

Kat bought fondant icing to decorate it. Valya made a fondant boy, Paul made a plane, Katya, an elephant, Gabi, a giraffe and Kat, a zebra.

“Everyone laughed at Gabi’s giraffe because it looked straight out of a David Walliams book. We were keen to make the cake and birthday special for Daniel. It was good fun and there was no pressure to talk, but it brought us all together.”

Daniel was thrilled by his cake, and it encouraged more adventures in the kitchen. “I asked Valya and Katya about the spices they used and their usual diet, and saw it wasn’t too dissimilar to ours.”

It made Kat realise things about her family’s diet, too. “We’re conditioned to have a light breakfast and big evening meal, whereas in Ukraine, people have a big meal in the morning. It made us laugh when the trio ate leftover spaghetti bolognese for breakfast.”

The two families swapped recipes, and Kat, Paul and Gabi ate in ways they hadn’t before. “We loved Valya’s salad with beetroot, potatoes, carrots, white beans, garlic, onions and celery, eaten cold with a drizzle of olive oil and pickled cucumbers and bread. She made it for my birthday.”

Another dish Kat loved was Valya’s varenyky. “They’re dumplings with different flavours inside, including potatoes, meat and cabbage, or a sweet version with cherries. It took Valya hours to prep, and we all had a go. It was a bonding experience. Recently, we made her grandma’s soup with pampushky – garlic dough balls. The sisters said their grandma would be delighted.”

The sharing of recipes and learning about a new cuisine had an impact on other areas of Kat’s life, too. “We’re usually answering emails, texts and working, and there’s not a lot of down time to reset after a long day. But, when you’re in the kitchen doing something with your hands, you’re not worrying about life, you’re relaxing. Cooking has been a real leveller, giving us all a chance to chat and get involved.

“Out of all the things we’ve done together this year, being in the kitchen has brought us together the most. We’ve taught one another English and Ukrainian kitchen phrases, like ‘steaming’, ‘boiling’, ‘simmering’, ‘chopping’ and ‘slicing’ through our kitchen charades.”

Kat has since taken the trio to her parents’ for a barbecue on Daniel’s birthday, her sister’s Jubilee tea party, and meals at friends’ houses.

Kat says, “The thought of leaving everything you know and going to a country where you don’t know the language, traditions or have friends is a massive undertaking, but Valya and her family have done so much to build a life here.” Katya now has a job at a local coffee shop but is also studying remotely towards a master’s degree.

“They want to make a life for themselves. Everyone in our village has been proactive, and I’m glad the sisters feel embraced by everyone. At home, we eat together every night – it’s a lovely way to finish the day.

“I know it’s hard for Valya to be away from her husband, and he’s missing his son terribly, but is happy they’re safe. None of us know for how long Valya and her family will be with us, but until it’s safe for them to return home, they’re welcome to stay with us.”

Make Valya’s bortsch recipe.

This feature originally appeared in Good Food Magazine, October 2022.